Teitanblood
Death (2cd)
Wydane przez Norma Evangelium Diaboli/The Ajna OffensiveRok wydania 2014Kraj SpainNapisał Flemming Gabin8
This more fucken like it, alright. Are you fucken sure these Teitanblood fucks are Spaniards, like, at all? Cos this sounds fucken Australian to these ears. Not that I’m complaining. We need more out of control, fucken necro and totally chaotic war metal. I mean, sure, Hells Headbangers has released about every single side-project, unreleased recording and splinter project from Deströyer 666 in the last couple of years, but most of them sounded like ass. And not the good kind of fucken ass. Like, Lucy Briggs’ enormous round ass, or something like that. I dunno who Teitanblood are, or why they are so fucken angry, and grim, and necro – but if they continue making music like this I might eventually check out that “Seven Chalices” record out, despite the fact that everybody was masturbating themselves silly over it in 2009. Which is something metallers do far too often, most of the time over hairy, sweaty men. I don’t care what you fucken assholes say. Metal’s fixation with other men never ceases to amaze. Anyway, so yeah, Teitanblood. So this is released on Norma Evangelium Diaboli, which I suppose makes this probably theological in subject matter. Not that matters, cos metal lyrics are patently ridiculous. Face it, you’re a metal band – nobody outside of a select few morons is gonna take you fucken serious anyway. A couple of songs run +10 minutes in length, so I guess Teitanblood has some big and important message to spread. Okay with me, I don’t bother with fucken lyrics most of the time anyway, and this is fucken boss chaotic war metal any self-respecting metal fan should have heard at least once. I still prefer Bestial Warlust, Angelcorpse or Deströyer 666 – but this comes close enough for me. I’m not hard to please. The atmosphere is also surprisingly grim and haunting consider the genre this is (yes, it is black metal too, you fucken clowns) – and the times that I could find atmosphere on a modern black metal record I can count on one hand. Fuck you! Now I don’t particular care which necro, evil and unholy black metal band is hot this week among you basement-dwelling virgins, and neither have I any interest to find out – but apparently Spain is making somewhat of a comeback on underground metal. Fuck knows what is up with the country, but I’m liking it. Just like I like their beaches, and girls in tiny bikinis. I could use some of that right now. Girls in bikinis, I mean. Yeah. Graçias.
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