Arch Enemy
War Eternal ()
Wydane przez Century Media RecordsRok wydania Kraj Sweden/USANapisał Flemming Gabin4
Does anybody still care about this joke of a band? For reals? Never mind that Michael Amott hasn’t written a good album in the last, I dunno, 15 years. Oh wait. This fucken band was never about the music anyway. No. It’s all about empowerment… and gimmicks. Never mind that not even a good vocalist can fucken safe this trainwreck of a band. And then Mike hires this Hot Topic wench? Of all the fucken possibilities they enlist the most generic, toothless and inoffensive frontwoman the scene currently has to offer?! By Odin, they should have hired Sawa. Not only does Sawa have a bigger vocal range, she has enormous pale tattooed boobs too. That would have required Alissa’s Titties to have integrity and artistic fucken merit, which Odin knows has been absent in this band for well over a decade now. Not that I’m complaining, at least Alissa White-Gluz is easy on the eyes, but her fucken grunt is as powerless, plastic and inert as Mauricio Iacono’s. At this point I don’t fucken know which band is worse: Arch Enemy or Kataklysm. At least they didn’t fucken kid where they hired White-Gluz for. Shut up and look pretty. This isn’t a metal video, that thing they did for ’War Eternal’ - it’s Alissa auditioning for one of those Wank It Now videos with her "come-hither" glances and fuck-me boots. At this point it is safe to say that Alissa’s Titties is no longer a metal band, but wank material for Hot Topic posers, and stupid kids alike. I don’t know about you, but the last Arch Enemy I stayed awake for was “Heartwork”, and people keep fucken telling me that was a Bill & Jeff’s Excellent Retirement Plan record, but that’s a different discussion. Then again, do people even fucken bother with Alissa’s Titties cos of their music? There are fucken Machine Head records that are more worthwhile. Alissa should embrace her inner stripper, and finally get it fucken over with. Stop pretending to be a singer, and take your clothes off already. Odin knows you want to. Speaking of which, at least Sawa has taken her top off, and her vocals are far better than White-Gluz’. For once the cover artwork doesn’t look like a fucken video game, which is a start. “Khaos Legions” was a lot of things (it was mostly fucken terrible), but it wasn’t the soundtrack to Killzone. The artwork is perfectly suitable for this fucken joke of a band, tho. A bunch of pigs surrounding a faceless central figurine holding a deformed infant. Seriously, at this point the jokes write them-fucken-selves. ‘War Eternal’? That’s the best this bunch of burnt out has-beens could come up with? What’s the next album gonna be called, “Left with Nothing”? Call it a day already, you bunch of fucken faggots.
www.centurymedia.com
