Archaic Winter
Esoteric Doors ()
Wydane przez WarHell RecordsRok wydania Kraj USANapisał Flemming Gabin5
Archaic Winter. If the goofy name alone isn’t enough to make you fucken fall over from laughter I don’t know what will. Yeah, this is exactly as stupid, dumb and immature as you think it will be. Geez. For fuck’s sake, this is just too easy. Apparently these are two men from the über evil location of North Carolina, deep within the fucken Bible Belt. Let’s see: Jacksonville and Charlotte, the latter having over fucken 700 places of worship. No wonder these men went to play fucken awful death/black metal. How else are you gonna spent your time if you’re surrounded by fucken Christian psychos and republicans? Holy fucken shit. So yeah, at one point or the other Pete Hasslebrack (Bloodsoaked) was part of this band, and that probably explains why "Esoteric Doors" and the band that wrote it are so fucken godawful. Anyway, this band is a fucken hoot. The evil band pictures are beyond stupid with the most badly photoshopped band pictures this side of fucken Sol Evil, and that is in prison. Holy fucken shit, dudes. These guys have been fucken playing for how long? Cos this sounds like the average demo from a death metal barely together for a year. In other words it is amateuristic in composition and downright comical with its try-hard screeching vocals. I get a lot of Gravewürm and, if I’m feeling forgiving, Nunslaughter vibes from this record. If you want this stuff done right, you could always just pick up one of the Sathanas records, and get it over with. So yeah, everything from the band name, to the song titles and the whole fucken execution is par for the course with underground metal. These guys fucken heart is in the right place, but the world didn’t need this, and neither did I. Why WarHell decided to release this I will never fucken know, cos there is far better stuff out there than this. Archaic Winter is the sort of band that will continue to persist in the fucken underground cos of a select number of people who have absolutely no fucken taste beyond something being ‘necro’. "Esoteric Doors" is everything I needed to hear of this fucken band, I hope to never hear from you fuckwads again. By Odin, I have better stuff to do than listen to crap like this – I should be getting really fucken drunk. I’ll do that instead. Where did I put that beer?
warhellrecords.bandcamp.com
