Chestburster
The Ultimate Experience In Grueling Terror ()
Wydane przez Nailjar RecordsRok wydania Kraj UKNapisał Flemming Gabin7
Lay down that bong, and pay attention for a minute, you dipshits. Despite the fact that the UK is more known for its obsession with big fucken tits than grindcore, here’s a nice little something. The UK usually makes me fucken think about Hayley Marie Coppin, Ivy Nedkova or Emma Kuziara. You know, big fucken tits. Natural ones, preferably. I can wax fucken poetically for days on end about the finer anatomical points of Coppin, Nedkova or Kuziara. Just saying. This is the second release I hear from Nailjar Records and once again it is a fucken faceripper. Holy fucken shit, dudes. No, really. This sounds just like "Scum" and "From Enslavement to Obliteration" era Napalm Death. This is horror-obsessed grindcore (or hardcore, depending on your fucken perspective), and while it is hardly fucken inventive, it at least is fucken effective. By Odin, why does it always take a tiny label to show the major labels how to fucken do it? I know the average, semi-retarded metalhead can’t tell his head from his asshole, but why isn’t there more fucken stuff like this? Chestburster is just straight-up grindcore of the traditional variety: punk-based, super short songs, three riffs, plenty of fucken blasts and one pissed off singer. Oh, fuck you too. It has the usual boring b-movie samples, and the funniest thing is probably the song titles - but then again, metal was never particularly known for its fucken intelligence. I’ve said it before and I’ll fucken say it again: Lucy Briggs’ enormous round ass is the thing of legend, and Bryoni-Kate Williams is seriously fucken hot. I don’t know about you fucken assholes but that’s the stuff that keeps me coming back. You know, Lucy Briggs’ enormous round ass… I mean, good honest-to-Odin grindcore. We don’t get nearly enough of that around these fucken parts. Just saying. That’s about all you need to fucken know whether you’d like this or not. I’m way too fucken drunk to waste more words, or energy on this band, and their fucken album. So yeah, fuck off already if you don’t like this. That probably means you either a stupid, glue-sniffing, inbred sister fucking kid, or a fucken hipster. Either way, fuck you and I hope you get driven over by a bus full of drooling retards. Come back when you are all grown up so I can bash your stupid head in. I’m gonna play this record again, and I’m gonna fucken grind.
www.nailjar.com
