Hell:On
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Wydane przez Ferrrum.comRok wydania Kraj UkraineNapisał Flemming Gabin6
Contrary to fucken popular belief I don’t fucken hate everything, or everyone. The fact of the fucken matter is that a lot of the shit I get sent is just that: shit. Everybody can release an album these fucken days. This is the first release I hear of German label Ferrrum, but apparently they have decent distribution. If they only had good bands on their roster. Not to say that Hell:On is bad, just very ordinary. I mean, fuck me, the barrier for groove/thrash metal is extremely fucken low as it is, but this is the best of the Ukranian scene? For fucken reals? Holy shit, dudes. Odin knows that each and very half decent record gets released by some basement label somewhere. In the 90s this would have been fucken released on Roadrunner Records. Which I’m not sure is a compliment. Just saying. So yeah, Hell:On. They sound a lot like those 90s groove/thrash bands, you know the ones. Skinlab, Machine Head, Fear Factory, Pissing Razors, “Chaos AD” era Sepultura and the likes. I know. Not a fucken ringing endorsement, but what did you expect? This stuff is decent enough, tho. Groovy, angry and energetic groove/thrash that sounds exactly like you think it does. At least there are a ton of really fucken swinging solos, and you can hear the bass guitar popping away. What the fuck is supposed to be the selling point here? Every one of these songs sounds the fucken same. Geez. Was this focus-group created? Artwork by Seth Siro Anton, guest contributions from a guy from Vader and Andy LaRocque (King Diamond, Death) and it’s the sort of thrash metal that appeals to tobacco chewing, truckdriving and tattooed dimwit dudebros whose entire metal collection consists of fucken Pantera and nothing else. Fuck you too! Geez. What the fuck else is there to say about this? They are from fucken Ukraine. I dunno about you assholes, but the last good thing to come from that country was Nina Sotnikova. I know, right? When fucken adult models are more interesting to talk about than the actual fucken record, you know you have a big fucken problem. Hell:On isn’t bad, but Nina is more interesting. Not only cos she takes her clothes off and nice fucken tits, although that certainly fucken helps. No. Are there even other Ukranian bands worth mentioning besides Noktural Mortum? I don’t fucken think so. Fuck off before I fuck you up.
www.ferrrum.com
