Necrosis
Catatonic Psychosis ()
Wydane przez Self-financedRok wydania Kraj UKNapisał Flemming Gabin6
Holy fucken shit. In case you thought you heard all there was to hear from fucken worthwhile death metal in the UK, here’s a little something. Personally, I’d prefer to suck Emma Twigg’s nipples, or to pinch Lucy Briggs’ enormous round ass – but in this review game you gotta take what the fuck you can get. Just saying. No. This isn’t that Necrosis. No, and it isn’t that other Necrosis either. This Necrosis comes from the land of big fucken tits, the UK. Which you wouldn’t be able to tell cos this sounds like a US band to me. You know, back when US death metal was actually still good. Long ago. Odin knows the US death metal scene used to be pretty good at one point. Yeah, fuck you. These blowhards sound like Cannibal Corpse and Deicide, back when that used to mean something. You know. Never. Geez. Give it a rest with all these fucken samples. It was dumb when Mortician did it way back fucken when, and it still is dumb now. That isn’t to say “Catatonic Psychosis” is terrible. It is actually pretty fucken tolerable. Which can’t be fucken said about a lot of underground death metal. This band consists of nobody you ever heard of, and we all fucken know that the UK glamour model scene is more interesting to talk about than their fucken death metal scene. Just saying. Cos, let’s be fucken honest here, outside of Benediction, Bolt Thrower and Desecration there’s no other death metal band worth remembering in the UK. So yeah, this is your standard fucken horror-obsessed death metal band, complete with fucken goofy “shocking” artwork, clever songtitles and useless horror movie samples that nobody cares about. The more of this shit I hear, the more I want to turn off my fucken iPod. If half these fucken bands spent as much time on their lyrics and concepts as they did on the music and finding the right samples, we might at one fucken point get good death metal again. Maybe that’s just fucken me. I dunno. I don’t care what you faggots think. Most death metal is fucken terrible these days, at least Necrosis is marginally better than their peers, but the quality level isn’t exactly high to begin with. Fuck you, buddy. I ain’t done just yet. Bear the fuck with me, okay? Geez. I’m feeling particularly fucken forgiving today, or drunk. I couldn’t honestly fucken tell you which is which. So I’m gonna give a fucken pass on the fact that this is painfully unoriginal, and borderline pathetic in terms of musical identity. Cos honestly who the fuck cares? It is not like metal fans have any sort of standard of fucken quality they adhere to. No. You stupid assholes just want something new and “fuckin’ br00dle, brah!”. Well, Necrosis does both of that. I’m not going to say it is good, or terribly innovative in what it does – but it does what it does better than most. Which is more than I usually expect out of fucken underground death metal. Just saying. Seriously, I think I need to lie down now that I heard this. I’m seriously fucken drunk, and Lucy Briggs’ enormous round ass is the thing of fucken legend. Holy crap.
www.facebook.com/Necrosisuk
