Reptilian Death
The Dawn Of Consummation and Emergence ()
Wydane przez Old School Metal RecordsRok wydania Kraj IndiaNapisał Flemming Gabin3
Is this what passes for death metal these days? Holy fucken shit. I realize this is a side-project of Demonic Resurrection (India) – so that should have any sensible and sane person running for fucken cover. Reptilian Death is something metal, but certainly not death metal. Holy crap, exactly how many crap elements can you cram into a record to make it as inoffensive and fucken vanilla as possible? Let’s see what we have here. Staccato riffing like in Dino’s Cheese Factory and two-note groove riffs like the worst of Machine Head and fucken Scampultura, Lamb Of fucken God breakdowns for the stupid kids, the most powerless grunts this side of Amon Amarth and a plastic, fucken sterile production that is so fucken smooth as to not scare away the hipster douchebags. Oh yeah, every once in a while there’s a blastbeat too, when the band remembers that they are supposed to be extreme metal, and not populist douchebag “metal”. Odin knows I hear a lot of stupid crap on a semi-regular basis, but this. Oh wow. Well, fuck you, you sad sacks of Punjabi shits. Exactly how much time was spent composing this?! Cos if these song structures are any fucken indication, it shouldn’t have taken more than a day. That’s how fucken entry level and novice sounding this shit is. Shit. No, I mean it. Shit. This is fucken shitty. There are demo-level bands that write music more ambitious than this fucken shit. This isn’t ‘brutal’, or fast, or technical – or whatever fucken adjective you prefer with your “death” metal. Do you know what the fuck this is? Groove metal, or even worse, impotent poppy metalcore with a “death metal” paintjob to hide how fucken awful and pedestrian it is. Where’s the fucken aggression? Where’s the anger, the fury, the hatred? This is just what we needed. Fucken pretentious goofball “metal” for stupid kids and hipster douchebags to cling unto to desperately prove their metal street credit. There’s a good reason why metal is fucken stupid and silly, and why no sane person would take it seriously. Here’s another example of a fucken clueless band hailing from some exotic location, thinking that exempts them from criticism. You are from India, big fucken deal. There’s one India that matters and that’s India Reynolds. I got better stuff to do than to listen to worthless crap like this. Holy fucken shit, guys. Is this what sells these days? Are metalheads fucken mentally challenged these days? I’m not nearly drunk enough to enjoy this, nor to find it tolerable. For fuck’s sake, try harder. I could be drinking right now, or watching a few new Summer St. Claire photos and videos. Instead I’m wasting my time with inconsequential drivel like this. So, fuck you, Reptilian Death. Fuck you very much.
www.osmrecords.net
