Mortal Decay
The Blueprint For Blood Spatter ()
Wydane przez Comatose Music/ClawhammerRok wydania Kraj USANapisał Flemming Gabin6
Mortal Decay. They are from New Jersey. Fucking Guidos. Haha. Sometimes the jokes write themselves. Soprano wanna-bes, gangbangers, the Turnpike, foul rudeness and apparently the only backwater state in the US that doesn’t have a capital to be proud of... They have the rudest women with self-esteem issues and cup sizes bigger than their IQs. Those awful fucken Guidos. Those foul mouthed, greasy, HGH using, roid raging, angry, abusive, uneducated disgrace to Italians with an unrelenting sense of insecurity that is hidden beneath excessive tanning, grooming and weight lifting. The Guidos are worse than the dudebros. Just saying. Hey, I respect Mortal Decay. They have been around in one form or another since fucken 1991. I enjoy what they do, but that doesn’t mean it is actually good, right? Holy fuck. "Sickening Erotic Fanaticism" was good back in the day. You know, good for 1997 standards. But those two fucken awful records that came in the 2000s. Who the fuck cares about those? They were released on Unique Leader back when that used to mean something. Mortal Decay just never did anything worth remembering. This is just what we needed. "The Blueprint For Blood Spatter" isn’t exactly bad, terribly written or badly performed. It just isn’t very good to begin with. It’s kinda there, and that’s all there’s fucken to it. Nine new songs in 8 years? That’s fucken productive, dudes. Holy crap. Don’t fucken push yourselves too hard. I mean, fucken hell, one song per year? Who the fuck do you think you are... Morbid Angel, or Vital Remains?! This sounds like "Intrauterine Cannibalism" era Malignancy, "None So Vile" era Cryptopsy or Brain Drill – and that’s a big fucken ginormous problem right there. Mortal Decay never had an indentity of its own and its post-1997 output has been fucken awful cos they are far too busy aping whatever fucking band is popular at that time. To add insult to fucking injury these brain-surgeons also replaced the one good thing they had going for them. Their über evil original logo. Why the flying fuck would you replace something as cool as that and substitute it with a fucken terribly generic Steve Crowe/Jon Zig type logo? This is released on Comatose Music, there is that too. Mortal Decay is better than most other stuff on Comatose Music, but how much is that saying exactly? At least they aren’t on the godawful Sevared Records. Odin knows that that terrible label needs to die, the sooner the better. So yeah. You do the fucken maths here. The artwork is dumb, the album title is dumb, and it is released on a label that has a track record of being more awful than respectable. At least you’re not Waking the Cadaver. Oh wait. Your guitarist plays in that piece of shit band too. Thankfully there’s Danny Nelson on vocals now. I don’t know whether to cry or to cheer. It’s all good. They are just ten fucken years late to the party. Nice going, fuckos. For fuck’s sake, try harder. You sad sacks of shit should know how to go about this fucken thing right about now. I got better stuff to do than to listen to another bunch of washed-up third-rate never-weres. I’m going to crack open a beer. Shit is fucked up and it isn’t going to get any better.
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