Verona Septima
What Is Dead May Never Die ()
Wydane przez Self-financedRok wydania Kraj FinlandNapisał Flemming Gabin6
It is the question that drives us. What if Tarja actually played, you know, metal? Odin knows that that first album of hers "My Winter Storm" was really fucken good, in spite of how fucken fruity it was. Which brings me to the second question. Armi or Heidi Päivinen – I like them both equal. I mean, this really sounds like a midpaced Heidi-era Amberian Dawn. Without, you know, the fucken fruity keyboards and that impotent excuse they passed off as power metal. Now, "What Is Dead May Never Die" (geez, is this song Lovecraft inspired?) isn’t exactly brimming with novelty, and I struggle to call this Boob Metal cos, you know, Veronika actually manages to keep her top on, and her chest isn’t all that impressive – but this is yet another characterless, soulless knockoff of Tuomas’ Midlife Crisis, I mean, Nightwish. Yeah. Again. I mean, fuck me, the girl is a looker. She reminds of a Scandinavian Vikki Blows more than anything, but this song is... tame? I dunno. Instead of aping Nightwish, why not look at "Mandylion" by The Gathering a bit more, eh? I mean, I love me some fucken symfo metal every once in a while, but at least do something with your song. If this is the direction for your proposed debut album, I’m gonna need drugs to stay fucken awake. This chugging is stupid, and your song tends to go nowhere. Kick up the pace a notch, tell your drummer to use both kickdrums, loose the two-note groove riffs. You know, play actual metal. None of this thinly-veiled pop crap. Thank Odin Veronika doesn’t go overboard with her vocals. She probably has the cleavage to match Tarja or Liv Kristine, but who the fuck cares? I mean, at least it’s better than Edenbridge, Cristina Scabwhore’s band or fucken Flowing Tears, but how much is that saying exactly? That you prefer a pair of black eyes over broken ribs? I’m not nearly drunk enough to enjoy this. I know, right. I could stare at pictures of Veronika Toivokoski all fucken day, and she could sing a fucken grocery list for all I care - the music her sparkling vocals are set to is fucken inane and terrible. I get it. I really do. Symfo metal isn’t the most extreme of genres, but for fuck’s sake – can we have at least some vague semblance of extremity here? Is it that really that much to ask? Fuck knows there is enough of an audience for this, but try (yes, actually raise an effort) to play some honest-to-Odin extreme metal. The girl is pretty, and her voice is killer – but if I want to hear pop music, I’ll put on the fucken radio. Keep that shit out of my metal, aight?
www.veronaseptima.fi
