Mastercharger
Unity In Black ()
Wydane przez Black Vulture Records/Porta MusicaRok wydania Kraj UKNapisał Flemming Gabin5
There are plenty of reasons why I like the United Kingdom. The country has given us greats such as Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest – but also extreme metal institutions as Bolt Thrower, Desecration, Mithras and the regal warlords of Bal-Sagoth. One of the other reasons I like the UK is their obsession with Page 3 and glamour models in general. Odin knows I can talk hours on end about the finer anatomical points of women like Jocelyn-Kay Lewis, Amy Green or Zoe Alexandra. Anyway, supposedly you fine people are here to hear me ramble incoherently about underground metal, so I’ll give you that. Yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, Master Charger is another of these low-life, low-profile Black Sabbath worship acts that really don’t have anything meaningful to add to the sound, but were allowed to release an album anyway. Odin knows why, but here we are. I’ll admit that "Unity In Black" is a cool album title, and the whole psychedelic artwork and Atomic Rooster bandlogo certainly play in the band’s advantage. Guess what? I’m told people still actually buy albums for the music, not the pictures. Who knew? So yeah, this is some particularly low aiming stoner metal that really shouldn’t have gone beyond the band’s rehearsal space. It isn’t terrible, I’ll grant them that much – but if something isn’t terrible, does that mean it should be released on a global scale? Of course not! Be fucken honest here for a minute. Geez, I realize this whole Black Sabbath worship spiel is all the rave right now - but give me a fucken break, you fuckwads. I’m not nearly drunk enough to find this enjoyable. No. Was this release rejected by Svart Records cos they aim just that little bit higher with their signings? I’d rather listen to the second Cathedral album, or the two first High On Fire albums if I want to hear this particular brand of slow burning, ponderous, psychedelic stoner metal. Listen, smoking a couple of blunts, and emptying a keg of beer and then writing songs does not a great album make. For fuck’s sake, whoever recorded your drums should be fucken beat up or shot. This makes Gorgoroth’s drums on the original "Under the Sign Of Hell" sound good in comparison. I don’t care if that incompetent fuckwit was a buddy, or some "revered" producer (haha). So, yeah, not terribly good, but not good enough to be not terrible. Fuck knows why anybody thought it needed a worldwide release, but here we are. I stopped trying to make sense of releases and labels a long time ago. I’d rather crash into a concrete wall, or get the clothes torn of my unimpressive body by Brioni-Kate Williams or Anastasia Harris, but the likelihood of that happening is about as slim as finding good bands on Sumerian Records. Fuck this shit, go to their MySpace page and sample some songs. Geez.
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